When I turned 28 and realized that I’d been battling my eating disorder for more than half of my life, I started to believe that recovery from eating disorders wasn’t possible, at least not for me. Over a decade of unsuccessful treatment (inpatient, outpatient, group therapy, private therapy, dietitians, meal plans, self-help books, antidepressants, uppers, and downers) left me weathered, frustrated, and often more confused than when I’d started. I was feverishly using every external tool out there to help myself, not yet realizing that all the tools I needed were internal. I had them all along, but I hadn’t known how to access them. I hadn’t known what my inner voice sounded like because I couldn’t hear it over the other warring voices in my head that I would try to drown out with drugs or try to obey by living with the rules of my eating disorder.

In the year following my first float on March 20, 2014, I spent 232 hours in a float tank, recovered from my 14 year battle with anorexia and bulimia, and detoxed from drug addiction. When I decided to try floating, I wasn’t sure of what I was looking for exactly and couldn’t possibly have predicted the healing that it would lead to.

When I was entrenched in my eating disorder, it was difficult to hold onto hope because of how few people actually recover versus merely cycle in and out of treatment before resolving that they must live with their disorder. Full recovery is real, and it happened for me because I had access to a float tank. I wrote Unsinkable to share just what that recovery process looked like. You can read it on this site for free or, if you’d like a hard copy, just click “Buy Unsinkable” up above.

– Emily

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