I’ve been away from my former ED recovery blog, No Matter What My Size, for about three years, but I’m back with some really exciting news….
I RECOVERED! FULL RECOVERY IS REAL!!
Can you believe it?! I didn’t just restore weight and learn how to manage symptoms…I don’t even hear Ed’s voice anymore. My ED used to consume 97% of my thoughts, and now I sometimes forget that I even used to have those thoughts. Here is a bit of what recovery looks like for me:
- I am in tune with my body’s hunger and fullness cues.
- I eat what sounds good to me, and then I move on with my day completely until I feel hungry again.
- I don’t care what size pants I fit into.
- I have a sense of identity (one that I love!) outside of my size.
- I don’t measure my peanut butter.
- I don’t count calories nor do I feel the need to do so.
- If you asked me what I ate yesterday, I wouldn’t be able to recall everything.
When I was deep in my disorder, one of the things that kept me entrenched was that I didn’t fully believe that recovery from EDs was even possible. I didn’t know anyone who had recovered. I only knew people who cycled in and out of treatment until eventually resolving that they’d always have their ED and that their best option was to “manage their symptoms”. That seemed like a really bleak future to me. I didn’t want to be dealing with ED when I’m 60! What kind of life is that?! I knew there had to hope for a better future.
The big turn for me happened when I discovered float tanks. I wrote about my recovery process, and it’s called Unsinkable. You can read it for free on this site right here, or, if you’d like a hard copy, you can buy one right here.
I applied for and was awarded a scholarship from the NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) to attend their annual conference, which will be held in San Diego this October! The scholarship covers admission to the conference but not hotel and airfare, and I’d love some help in making that possible. At the conference, treatment providers, families of sufferers, and individuals who have struggled with an eating disorder get together to talk about what’s happening with treatment, share our experiences, and inspire hope, and I’d love to go as someone who has recovered and shine some light from the other side of the tunnel. If you’re able to make a donation of even a small amount, please go to http://www.gofundme.com/y6dby5d.
Do you have any questions about recovery or floating? I want to do my best to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out.